Go to the bookstore and scour the shelves on step parenting. A good book with a bit of humor will come in handy for her in times of struggle. I can recommend The Enlightened Stepmother and, while I don't fancy the title, the Idiot's Guide to Step parenting. Talk to her fiancé, find out what each of her soon to be step children's interests are and buy her something on the subject. For example, in my case a book on baseball, my very own glove or some coveted trading cards would have been appropriate. Make her "escape" certificates, one from each shower attendee. The certificate allows her the opportunity to escape to anyone's house in the first five years of her marriage. I have found that sometimes a stepmother just needs to get away. A first aid kit is especially handy when raising children. A book of juvenile jokes is always handy, particularly when endearing a child. Copy down a list of stepmother website resources from the web. Buy her an appropriate book about child rearing (i.e. Raising Confident Girls: 100 Tips for Parents and Teachers, by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer), Fisher Books; (May, 2001). For her own sanity buy her Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids and His Ex-Wife, By Sally Bjornsen, Berkley Books 2005.