Coraline-Horror Novella is a Big No for Ninja Boy

Last night there were three of us in our queen sized bed and we’re not the “family bed” type. Three peas in a pod wouldn’t be so bad if we were from the cast of Little People Big World http://http//tlc.discovery.com/fansites/lpbw/lpbw.html, but we aren’t. No—we’re big, hot, sweaty people.

There I was at 2am sandwiched between a 6’4” man who runs at a constant 90 degrees fahrenheit and an oversized 6 year old who burns like a wood stove. Earlier in the day I had succumbed to my son’s pleading that we go see the new movie Coraline,http://www.coraline.com/. It was President’s day and we had spent almost the entire day indoors. I thought an outing would be good for the both of us. I didn’t know much about the movie but I had heard through some vine that it was “brilliant,” though a little scary. I envisioned Toy Story, Edward Scissorhands or Bed Knobs and Broomsticks, a PG rating for inappropriate language or violent something or other. Nothing we couldn’t handle together.

Warning, Warning: If you have a child under the age of ten who is pining to see Coraline, http://www.coraline.com/…don’t, unless of course you want that child in your bed.

I will say this. The movie is incredibly creative, beautiful, silly, and clever but it is also crawl in your bed; beg for your life, disturbing—especially if you’re six years old. The good news is we didn’t see the 3-D version.

The music was haunting, the characters, while cute, were hardly likeable and the story line was terrifying at best. My son, who moonlights as a part time ninja, was so frightened that three quarters of the way through the film he got down on his knees and begged to go home and clean the gecko terrarium.

This is not your run of the mill Pixar or Disney flick. This is a haunting fairy tale that makes you want to through away the sewing kit and box of unused buttons. When I got home from the movie and settled my son, I googled the story Coraline to find out it’s origins. It was written in 2002 by British author Neil Gaiman and according to Wikipedia it is listed as a horror/novella. And, the wikepedia expert points out, Coraline sounds like “horror-wine” when you say it with a british accent. Can you say Alice in Wonderland on Acid?

Would I recommend it? Absolutely, to an adult. But for kids under ten years old….absolutely not. Coraline makes Tim Burton look like child’s play.